Perfect 10 Minutes in Sex

Couples who think they’re not measuring up because so many celebrities boast about sex sessions that last all night can take some comfort. Contrary to popular fantasy about the need for hours of passionate activity, sex therapists say around ten minutes is perfectly satisfactory.

In fact, shows such as Sex And The City and Desperate Housewives have created unrealistic expectations of bedroom performance that can only lead to disappointment. Real couples are satisfied with making love for between three and 13 minutes – and can find anything over ten minutes tiresome.

Researchers Eric Corty and Jenay Guardiani conducted a survey of 50 members of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, which include psychologists, physicians, social workers, marriage/family therapists and nurses. They have collectively seen thousands of patients over decades in the U.S. and Canada.

They were asked to rate a range of times for sexual intercourse that they considered adequate, desirable, too short and too long. Most of them classed lovemaking that lasted three to seven minutes as ‘adequate’ and sex lasting between seven and 13 minutes as ‘desirable’.

However, anything longer than 13 minutes was rated ‘too long.’ Most agreed that sex that lasted between one and two minutes was ‘too short’ to provide satisfaction.

The researchers said they wanted the results to ‘encourage’ couples.

‘Today’s popular culture has reinforced stereotypes about sexual activity,’ said Mr Corty, an Associate Professor of Psychology at Penn State University.

‘Many men and women seem to believe the fantasy of… all-night-long intercourse.

‘This seems a situation ripe for disappointment and dissatisfaction.

‘We hope this survey will dispel fantasies and encourage men and women with realistic data.’

Corty and Guardiani published their findings in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. The survey comes as counselling services reported an increase in the number of couples complaining that they are disappointed with their sex lives.

Counselling organisation Relate has seen a two-fold increase in the number of couples turning to sex therapy in the past five years. A separate survey published this month has shown that most married women would now rather go to sleep, read a book or watch a film than have sex.(kompas.com)